Gas Lighting, Hoovering & Triangulation

Gaslighting

Definition & Explanation:
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser makes someone doubt their own perceptions, memory, or reality, often to maintain control.

Case Study Example:
Mark and Sophie had been dating for six months when Sophie began noticing that Mark frequently dismissed her concerns about his behaviour. When she confronted him about cancelling plans, he insisted she “must be imagining things” and accused her of being overly sensitive. Over time, Sophie began questioning her own memory and judgment, feeling confused and anxious. Mark’s consistent denial of facts and minimisation of her feelings gradually undermined her confidence, making her more reliant on his version of reality.

Hoovering

Definition & Explanation:
Hoovering occurs when an abuser attempts to “suck” a former partner or victim back into a relationship after a breakup or period of distance, often using charm, guilt, or promises of change.

Case Study Example:
After ending their relationship, Jenna stopped responding to Liam’s messages. Within a week, Liam sent long, heartfelt texts apologising, claiming he had changed and missed her. He even sent small gifts to “prove” he had turned over a new leaf. Despite feeling wary, Jenna found herself responding, pulled back by the attention and emotional intensity. Hoovering exploits emotional bonds, making it difficult for victims to maintain boundaries.

Triangulation

Definition & Explanation:
Triangulation is a tactic where an abuser involves a third person to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity, undermining trust and maintaining control over relationships.

Case Study Example:
Tom often compared his partner, Lucy, unfavourably to his ex-girlfriend, praising the ex’s accomplishments and subtly suggesting Lucy “should be more like her.” Lucy felt inadequate and anxious, constantly trying to meet Tom’s expectations. By drawing a third person into the dynamic, Tom maintained power and kept Lucy off-balance, focusing on his needs rather than her wellbeing.

Email:loraine@housefamilytherapy.com.au
Web: House Family Therapy: www.housefamilytherapy.com.au
Call: 0450 131 964

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